Sigh

Short and not so sweet post, really bad day today, long drive, crap meeting, waste of a day, loads of sh*t to deal with, throbbing wrist, petty rubbish making me really angry. Stop the world I'm getting off, peace out.

Too much lard

uurrgghh! Feeling lardy and bloated, the takeaway pizza tonight was a step too far, I feel greasy and fat and now can't wait for salads and fresh foods from now on. I dread to think the damage done this week but then that was always part of the plan, just not worry about stuff this week and do what I fancied. Just need to practice what I have been preaching and get the discipline back in and re-establish my routine.

Part of my journey to black belt has always been about the fact that the getting of a black belt itself was just a by product and NOT the reason for my journey into the Martial Arts, now that I have been given the keys to the car I want to have a good drive and start to explore everywhere. Once I have established that I am still very committed to my chosen school and martial art I would be interested in looking at doing some complimentary things such as Tai Chi or Yoga, but these things are very much in the future. No running before I can walk!

Man I just want to lie down and let it all hang out, trust me, not good.

oops

What an interesting week! Manchester was good, got to relax and have a good natter with my colleagues, the hand was giving me some gip but I didn't think too much of it. By the weekend though I had had some of the girls at work and Shelly nagging me to get an X-ray. So dutifully off I went to Frenchay today and lo and behold I have a fractured ulna! So I have a temporary cast on at the minute and tomorrow I will be going back to have a full cast put on and meet the orthopaedic surgeon for a consult. This will curtail some of my training for the next few weeks but shouldn't be too much of a problem, will just need to alter things such as cardio training etc.

Chill Out

I've decided to take things easy this week, I am up in Manchester on business for the next few days so have decided to take advantage of some nice food on offer and have even had a few tipples. I am looking at this week as a bit of a chill out so am not really worried too much about what I eat and drink and am trying to focus on relaxing and kicking back a bit from the intense activity of the past few months.
However I am really keen to get cracking again next week as I have some goals to meet and I am conscious that it is really easy to slip and slack into old ways and I am really determined not to let that happen. So far I am trying to get a decent nights sleep as my sleep patterns have been disrupted from last Thursday onwards and I am feeling pretty tired by the time I get to about 5pm. Of course this isn't really helped by a poor diet (I have rediscovered biscuits today, yummy) and lots of travel. Not to worry, looking forward to a nice curry with the team on Thursday after graduation, still haven't been able to see a doctor yet about my hand, I'm hoping its okay as the swelling seems to have gone down but I am still in a lot of discomfort so might have to see a doctor on Friday.

One destination arrived at, the Journey continues

Well today was the big day, over three years of work led to this afternoon and my black belt grading. With all the nerves firing I was still really glad to walk into the dojang today as I was looking foward to leaving all the stresses and strains of recent weeks behind me and just take control of something I had a direct effect on.

The grading itself was great, lots of students on the floor and I can't remember a time when we have had 7 black belts in the room. Come the end it was a relief to hear that Shirley (the other candidate) and myself had been successful, I left with a real feeling of satisfaction and a very throbbing left hand where I had broken a board with a hammerfist, ouch! Plenty of ice later I have a golf ball on my wrist, not great for a long drive up to Manchester but I can't not go into work as I have two new managers starting for me tomorrow. FOr readers of this blog you will know that its business as usual then!

I know it sounds odd but I am really looking forward to getting back into regular training without the added pressure of an impending black belt grading looming. I have already identified some goals that I want to achieve over the next 6 months and I think I will set some for the next 4 weeks, just one or two to keep me in the swing of things. After watching Shirley break with her turning kick I would also like to do the same but at a bigger height, so I will most likely look to attempt to break with a turning kick a week on Tuesday to set a base line and then work for 6 weeks to raise it by an amount I will decide after talking with my instructor.

Enjoyed a nice curry as a little celebration but was missing Shelly as she is still looking after her mum and am looking forward to her coming home in the next few days.

Coming off the ceiling

Had a bit of a bad night last night, was still fielding phone calls and dealing with emails so had very little opportunity to relax. This spilled over into a very disturbed nights sleep and pinging awake at 5am, got the kids ready for school and managed to get in for a crisis meeting. As it stands at the moment things are bad but not as bad as they looked last night, so my stress levels have receded somewhat, just feel really tired at the minute. Will get to class tonight though which is good, however can only do 45 mins as I need to get back to pick up my youngest daughter and get her to bed. Hopefully nothing outrageous will pop out of the woodwork over the next couple of days and I can look forward to a cracking grading on Sunday. No matter what happens I will give it my all and I even though the ego needs the stroking that a successful attainment of a black belt brings, I always go back to my reasons for studying a martial art, it wasn't for the belt but for the journey and where it takes you.

KAIZEN!!

Stress Part XX

What a day! Where am I, what am I doing? Nightmare, nightmare, I can tell how bad things have got by the fact I have just scoffed an entire pepperoni pizza and could eat another one. Ideally tonight was meant to be a chilled out, bit of exercise and then review my pattern breakdown, if only that was the reality.

Didn't get back until gone 7pm and by the time I scoffed the pizza I just want to sit down and switch the brain off, I have so much crap zinging around my head due to work (the phone is still ringing) that by the time I start to switch off it will be bed time. I will have to really motivate myself for tomorrow as things are pretty serious, it has nothing to do with me but that's not the point, I am the person in the hot seat and that is that. I have to admit I entertained a fleeting fantasy of just jacking everything in, work, training the whole nine yards. I never would as I couldn't look at myself in the mirror if that's what happened when things get tough, just not who I am. I do need some way to decompress as I also have a national charity event I am going to in Cardiff Friday night and with Shelly looking after her Mum I am going to be doing a lot of running around all weekend, as well as fitting in a grading somewhere!

Where has all the time gone?

Wow, nearly a week has gone by without a post, does that mean nothing has happened, far from it! The past week has been a real blur, a combination of the impending black belt grading, family issues and a massive problem blowing up at work has meant that I have been so focussed on dealing with lots of bush fires that I have not been able to sit back and catch my breath. Funnily enough the other issues are pushing any nervousness to the background concerning the grading on Sunday, I just have to put things into perspective really. This perspective comes full circle really to the whole point of this blog, which was to show a fairly 'average' persons last 5-6 months of training prior to taking a a black belt test. As with anything that is worth doing I of course am apprehensive about Sunday, questions like, have I done enough, did I focus on the right things, am I actually good enough constantly roll around the head and pop up usually after I have dealt with some other crisis.

Looking back and asking myself "Did I do everything I could have done to ensure I am fully prepared for my black belt?" the honest answer has to be no. I could have trained every day, I could have spent time every day looking at the theory behind the art, I could have employed any number of extra training methods to ensure I would arrive at my grading supremely confident that I would be able to pass a black belt grading. If I alter the question to "With all my other responsibilities and looking at the issues that have affected me have I done the best I could to prepare" I think my answer would be a cautious and qualified "Yes" A cautious yes because I think it would be unfair to use external matters as some sort of crutch or excuse before I step into dojang and qualified through all the postings I have made over the past months. There is always more that can be done, and at times I have just not done something, I recognise that as human nature and something that needs to be constantly recognised and checked. Hopefully through this blog and through postings on the Academy forum I have highligted my failures and faced them rather than shieing away from them. I have prevaricated at times but looking back over the last few months I am extremely proud of what I have achieved so far, I have lost just one pound shy of 1 and a half stones, I have slashed my 1 1/2 mile from 13 minutes to below 10 mins 30 secs, I have learnt another pattern, Choong Moo, studied and learnt more about the history and background to Tae KwonDo and had the opportunity to work with other students to assist and guide where required. All in all a pretty good time I think, 6 months ago I had already envisaged what my final week before grading was going to be like, fairly relaxed, just picking up a few loose ends and getting myself mentally prepared, however life never goes to plan (one of the most important life lessons to learn, no plan survives first contact!) this week I have 5 critical issues at work, my wife's mum will hopefully be coming out of hospital this week (great news but Michelle has to stay with her 24 hrs a day for the next 10-14 days so I have to somehow juggle looking after the kids, getting to school etc) ensure that my father in law is comfortable in the care homw and that I get out to visit him as well. All of this as well as ensuring I get to all sessions this week so that I can be satisfied that demo's are all set and that I am happy with my basics, 1,2 & 3 step and my patterns are at a good level, phew, its only 9.30am on Monday and I am exhausted already.

KAIZEN!!

Trying to get things done

I need to vent... I was hoping that this week would be a little calmer than last week with all the stress at home, but oh no, just as one thing is looking a little brighter soemthing else comes along to take a massive chunk out of my backside.

WORK!!!!!

The department I am running is currenlty going through a re-organisation and I am awaiting the commencement of 2 managers who will be responsible for managing the production cycle for me, in the meantime I am the most definately the person trying to keep about 20 plates spinning in the air, the main problem is I don't know about all the plates that I need to keep spinning! Its an impossible situation really and I am getting it off my chest because I was meant to be using today as a catch up on paperwork and some issues at home. But no, so far I have done zero of what I need to achieve and instead am too busy chasing around dousing fires. Very, very frustrating, I really dislike being non-productive, all I am at the minute is a conduit for info passing, not ideal at all.

Starting to feel a bit better after that rant, a combination of being at home and all these issues exploding at once was not the greatest of combinations for my calm and wellbeing!

What an emotional rollercoaster

This week has had it all, Tuesday night was looking really grim, Shelly's mum was seriously ill but the tough old northern bird that she is, she managed to get through a 10 1/2 hour heart op and we went to see her yesterday and she was laughing and joking with us! I wish I looked as good as she does in her 70's after a trauma like that!

Did the fitness test today for my black belt grading and it was good fun, really hard on the upper body, was disappointed with the press ups, even though I knew that was my weakest area, really wanted to get past 60 on that one. Got really stuck into the sparring and couldn't help but stick a couple of jump back kicks in :)

Came back with the sun shining to pick up a voicemail from Shelly's mum telling her she was being moved to a general ward, she has the nickname with the ICU team of 'little miracle' Hopefully things will look up from here on in for Shelly and looking forward to the black belt grading to show what I've got.

Can't finish this post off without saying a massive congrats to Shirley, the other black belt candidate. This mature librarian attacked the fitness test and blew it apart, showing the younger memebers of the Academy that they have zero excuses now. I hope to see a massive improvement in the attitude towards personal fitness from those guys as Shirley is a prime example of just getting on with things and having a zero excuse mentality, true black belt spirit if ever there was!

...

Just spent a very fraught night with the family as Michelle's mum was in the hospital today for a serious heart op, unfortunatley there have been some serious complications and tonight is going to be a long night.

I buried myself in finishing off my submission docs to give me something to do and to try and get the time to pass, really hoping for the best outcome and just doing my best to support Michelle and be there when I'm needed.

Some more points to note

In training tonight we ended up doing some one step sparring (Ilbo Matsoki) some key learning points that came out of that session were:

1. Remember to use basic techniques and as it is a traditional practice ensure that the techniques are done correctly, with proper stances.
2. Keep it simple, don't attempt overly complicated techniques
3. Isolate a particular technique such as a block and look to use different strikes, this equally applies when looking at your stance, which way you are facing, what sort of strike you want to accomplish.

My foot is throbbing and I didn't even do any kicks tonight, may need to get some ice on it to see if the swelling will go down :(