Countdown is progressing

Only a few weeks to go until the grading and things are slowly coming together. My thesis is put to bed and ready for printing, just need to type out my pattern breakdown and set out a précis of the blog posts and forum entries. This grading cycle has proved really tricky with so many things competing for my attention that sometimes I've just ended up like a rabbit in the headlights, frozen, not knowing where to go and what to do. You would have thought the second time around that things would be easier, but to me this has been much harder than my first BB grading cycle. I thought work was demanding then but in the last 18 months it has dominated my week, leaving little time for family and training, coupled with the need to keep a fitness regime going (don't forget one of my goals is to complete a half marathon)it sometimes just got too much and I needed to just sit down and relax. Last night my wife asked me if I was ready for the grading and my response was a qualified 'Yes' I think my thesis is really good, my pattern breakdown could be better, my personal demo is not great due to numerous set backs with training partners and my personal bug bear, theory, is a constant battle. When you write it down like that I'm not sure I am ready! For me it's about giving it the best attempt you can, I have slowly accepted the fact that I cannot devote the time to training that I used to do as personal time is squeezed by work and family commitments have to take precedence. The school has a good mix of students but most fall into the category of young enough to not have the same personal responsibilities and commitments or old enough that they have moved past that into a time of maximising their free time to pursue what they want to do. If I was to put my pre BB head on from 3 years ago I would be stinging in my criticism of myself and would definately say I was not ready, had not prepared enough and not deserving of a 2nd Dan. Today I have to look at the last 6 months and reflect upon it with a different eye. I can't be as uncompromising now as I was then, I was in a different space, time has moved on, and me with it. With an older and hopefully wiser head I am accepting of the fact I have done, what I feel, as much as I was able to do, in the time given. This is different to saying 'I did all I could do' as there is always more I could have done. I could have gone to training more when I came home late, but then I wouldn't have seen the kids or had time to relax with my wife. I could have devoted more of my weekends to study and practice, but again do I not take the family out or simply veg out in front of the TV watching a film cuddled up to my daughters? On the day of the grading I don't think I am going to be crossing the threshold with the levels of confidence I had at 1st Dan, I am simply going to bow, enter the Dojang and 'show what I know' if that isn't good enough, then so be it, MA training isn't a turn up and get your belt affair. If I don't get promoted then I will just keep on doing what I am doing, accepting of the fact that, with current circumstances as they are, I have reached a plateau in my training. There is still some time to go before the grading and rather than stressing about it I want to look forward to some of the goals yet to attain, my half marathon is in a months time and I have already started to look forward to 2013 with some personal goals in mind. Today was going to be a day where I was going to give some focus on theory, but I have been asked by my youngest daughter to help her with some coursework that she needs to complete before her return to school, so again, life takes me in a different direction.

Lots happening, how to put it forward?

Over a month since the last blog entry, doesn't mean nothing has been happening, on th contrary tonnes of stuff ha been going on with some big changes to my BB goals due to the realities of work and family life.

I have changed my personal goal fom beginning to learn a new language to a goal more closely aligned with my fitness goal so to that end have been looking to Introduce a low carb diet. I have been posting regulary on the Academy forum so will replicate some of these posts rather than try and duplicate all the info;


Re: Fats don't make us fat.. (The Low Carb Thread)
by Stewart Davison » Tue Jul 24, 2012 9:34 pm

Rich, started going high protein and low carb, interested to understand where I can include berries and nuts/seeds. I have been aiming for 20 grams of carbs a day but this is Atkins level and I am not sure about that as I didn't really enjoy Atkins which I tried about 10 yrs ago to see what all the fuss was about (really didn't like it)

Looking to have a good mix of the nuts/seeds, fruit and veg so keen to understand how you have incorporated them, I am using MynetDiary to keep an eye on the carbs more than anything, keen to know the sort of carb levels you are taking.

One thing I really noticed is that on my return home tonight I wasn't getting the serious carb cravings that I normally do, it was noticeable by its absence as its usually this time where a carb heavy takeaway would come in.
It's all in the reflexes...

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Re: Fats don't make us fat.. (The Low Carb Thread)
by Richard Olpin » Tue Jul 24, 2012 10:30 pm

Stewart Davison wrote:
Rich started going high protein and low carb, interested to understand where I can include berries and nuts/seeds. I have been aiming for 20 grams of carbs a day but this is Atkins level and I am not sure about that as I didn't really enjoy Atkins which I tried about 10 yrs ago to see what all the fuss was about (really didn't like it)


I'm aiming at 'normal' days being <100g, only going super-low <20g for a few days every 2/3 weeks to shock the system a bit.

Stewart Davison wrote:
Looking to have a good mix of the nuts/seeds, fruit and veg so keen to understand how you have incorporated them, I am using MynetDiary to keep an eye on the carbs more than anything, keen to know the sort of carb levels you are taking.


Berries and nuts are more in the Paleo realm, but both feature a lot for me. Especially handy pre/post training. Right now I have a big bowl of blackberries with ground flax seed/goji berries and big dollop of extra thick double cream for the fats YUM YUM.

I'll often have a handful of nuts as a snack on the go, especially cashews or almonds.

Stewart Davison wrote:
One thing I really noticed is that on my return home tonight I wasn't getting the serious carb cravings that I normally do, it was noticeable by its absence as its usually this time where a carb heavy takeaway would come in.

Great innit.

Useful snacks if you need a quickie, peperami or something like a Baby Bel cheese. I buy the sainsbury's mini-cheese selections.

For tracking I'm now using myfitnesspal instead of MyNetDiary. I'm finding the doos database to be MUCH better, and the app/web integration is better.
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Re: Fats don't make us fat.. (The Low Carb Thread)
by Stewart Davison » Wed Jul 25, 2012 8:18 am

Cheers! I am having to do the weekly shop today so will top up on the seeds etc, going to try and sneak a run in today so will look to get some down me as a post training snack, just enjoyed steak and eggs breakfast mmmm!
It's all in the reflexes...

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Re: Fats don't make us fat.. (The Low Carb Thread)
by Stewart Davison » Wed Jul 25, 2012 1:10 pm

One other thing, are you checking what the calories are or just keeping an eye on the carbs?
It's all in the reflexes...

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Re: Fats don't make us fat.. (The Low Carb Thread)
by Richard Olpin » Wed Jul 25, 2012 7:42 pm

Stewart Davison wrote:
One other thing, are you checking what the calories are or just keeping an eye on the carbs?


Not worrying about the calories at all, just looking to have < 100g carbs per day.
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Re: Fats don't make us fat.. (The Low Carb Thread)
by Stewart Davison » Sat Jul 28, 2012 9:02 am

Mmm, just weighed myself after about a week, I've actually put 4 pounds on! I've gone back and checked each day I have only had between 20g and 100g of carbs max, a couple of days my caloric count is actually in deficit due to workouts/ runs. Something's not right, think I might be constipated, even though I'm using flax seed, pints and pints of water etc. Strange thing is I don look 'fatter' if anything I look slightly more toned (always a by product of high protein diets)

Any advice?
It's all in the reflexes...

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Re: Fats don't make us fat.. (The Low Carb Thread)
by Richard Olpin » Sat Jul 28, 2012 11:52 am

Stewart Davison wrote:
Mmm, just weighed myself after about a week, I've actually put 4 pounds on! I've gone back and checked each day I have only had between 20g and 100g of carbs max, a couple of days my caloric count is actually in deficit due to workouts/ runs. Something's not right, think I might be constipated, even though I'm using flax seed, pints and pints of water etc. Strange thing is I don look 'fatter' if anything I look slightly more toned (always a by product of high protein diets)

Any advice?


Hmm, slightly surprised about that much gain in one week, how often do you weigh yourself?

Couple of things to consider though:
- The time of day you weigh is important as you'll often fluctuate 2/3lb through the day due to food/fluid intake. Don't forget a pint (of anything) weighs 2lb..
- Calories don't really matter that much when you're on a very low-carb diet, it's pretty hard to overeat protein
- The constipation is quite common when you first go extreme low-carbs, but things soon return to normal
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Re: Fats don't make us fat.. (The Low Carb Thread)
by Stewart Davison » Sat Jul 28, 2012 12:26 pm

Without going into too much detail, I weighed myself a little bit later and my weight returned to what I weighed last Saturday. I only weigh myself once a week and usually around the same sort of time. I will keep going and hopefully there will be some loss next week, will keep the carbs between 50 and 100g, taking flax seeds and fibre rich left greens to see if that helps.
It's all in the reflexes...

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Re: Fats don't make us fat.. (The Low Carb Thread)
by Stewart Davison » Sat Jul 28, 2012 2:58 pm

Uurrgghh, just had a slice of Viccy Sponge in a coffee shop and feels like a cannonball in my stomach, feel bloaty, my reflux is acting up and I'm feeling sleepy. Don't like this, so much for a treat!
It's all in the reflexes...

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Re: Fats don't make us fat.. (The Low Carb Thread)
by Richard Olpin » Sat Jul 28, 2012 3:32 pm

Stewart Davison wrote:
Uurrgghh, just had a slice of Viccy Sponge in a coffee shop and feels like a cannonball in my stomach, feel bloaty, my reflux is acting up and I'm feeling sleepy. Don't like this, so much for a treat!

It's amazing how quickly your body becomes more attuned to this stuff isn't it.

I noticed two things, firstly when I do eat I realise when I've eaten enough and also, when I do eat cheats/treats I generally feel the side effects (bloating/lethargy/sugar crash) quite quickly.

Top tip: Journal EVERYTHING you're eating and how it makes you feel. It reinforces the negative stuff to help you avoid it.
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As you can see from these posts I am struggling a bit with successfully integrating this type of diet with my phys. I've just come to the end of a 2 week holiday so will to put some focus on this from tomorrow.

When work gets in the way

This week and next week are one of those times when work gets right in the way of any training and makes it tough to fit anything in. Over time I have noticed this happens a lot more than when I first started training, it's just something that at peak times causes a real disruption to my training regime. When this happens I try to keep positive and just fit in small chunks of training whenever I can.

Just getting concerned as before I know it, it will be time for grading, gulp!

Tired, sore, but happy

Been a week or two since i last posted, nothing massive has happened that warranted anything really. One of the things to consider when embarking on a BB testing cycle is that you can get into a rut if you aren't careful and to be honest I would say that happened to me over the last couple of months.

It usually comes down to something setting you back a bit and then a spiral starts that keeps you from fulfilling what you want to achieve. Luckily for me the energy levels at the school and the buzz from the other students has really helped me to break the cycle and start making some positive strides.

My running is making small progress, but hey as I usually hate running small steps (pun intended) is a good thing. I have started incorporating a longer run at the weekends just to start seeing how it feels, longest so far is 8.5 miles, I'm not running the full distance but still achieving a reasonable time. I'm still hoping that by the time of the Bristol Half Marathon (30th Sept) I will have done 13 miles, today was a good example of my approach to this goal. I ended up doing a slightly shorter route (only 7.5 miles) but the route I chose was extremely hilly so I was looking to work on stamina, very hot today so felt like a desiccated coconut!

I've been focussing on the theory and basic aspects of my training as their has suffered the most from neglect, good to see things starting to click back in place, this is really helping to free up time at home to do some more activities around pattern breakdown and planning my personal demo.

Next week is a tricky one as I am away for a few nights with work and this could upset attendance again. I may look to sneak in a day off or two where perhaps I can persuade my instructor and a fellow student to do some extra training with.

The week ahead

With all the positive vibes floating around I'm hoping that this week is going to be a successful one. I know I have to complete some more activity on my pattern breakdown and importantly keep up the practice on all my patterns, especially Gae Baek which is a real tricky one.

It all comes down to just getting on with things rather than constantly 'thinking' odd thing to say perhaps but sometimes its that overprocessing of all the varying strands I need to complete as part of the BB testing cycle that leads to inertia. I suppose it can bets be described as the rabbits in the headlight syndrome, so to counter that I have decided to just focus on small chunks of activity and steadily build and build until I have a really solid programme of practice and activity locked in.

So time to practice what I'm preaching, off to do my reps and then do some patterns practice before its time to shoot off to the office.

Lots of positivity floating about

Blimey, its amazing how things can change pretty quickly. I ve gone from feeling pretty desperate about stuff to absolutely buzzing with positive energy.

Recently there has been a lot of good stuff going on at the school, with new students coming in, more memebers getting involved in the quarterly challenge and all of this has helped kick start of a real positive wave of enthusiasm which is infectious.

This energy has helped me start to focus again on what needs to be done to prepare for BB grading in less than 3 months time (gulp!)I'm getting regular phys done now which always makes me feel happy and last Saturday I even managed my furthest run yet, 8.5 miles!

trying to build in more basics, theory and patterns practice, small, baby steps at the minute to ensure that I dont overstep and crash back again. Lets see what the weekend brings eh?

A fresh start?

I have been a little concerned over the last month or so that I havent been able to commit to my training as much as I wanted (or needed) and that it was having a detrimental effect on how I was viewing my training all over. My weight started creeping up, I was doing less and less, feeling lethargic and generally starting to get a bit down on the whole thing.

I'M not sure what has happened in the last week or so but it seems the fugue has lifted and I am starting to get back to my old self. Last week stuck away from home I still managed to stick to an exercise regime that meant each day I was taking a positive step. After the weekend where I completed the Welsh 3 Peaks Challenge for Charity I have already completed two good 5K runs and I have kept up a set of exercises each morning which help to tone and keep me flexible.

I want to try and keep a steady attendance at the school, even if its only once or twice a week, as my instructor said 'Don't beat yourself up if life gets in the way, look at making small changes to have a positive effect' To that end I am just about to go off and run through a couple of 2nd Dan patterns whilst my cup of tea cools down.

Here's hoping this is a fresh start (only 3 months to go!)

Aching feet

This week has flown by due to work commitments and a charity hike I did yesterday.

Every year I go away for nearly a week for an annual conference that my company exhibits at, this year it moved location to Manchester and it meant a bit more of a hectic week than I had planned.

Usually there would be some down time where I have practiced my patterns and/or done some exercise to keep on top of things, however with the move of venue combined with a busy schedule I was unable to get the spare time needed to do anything apart from work, have dinner, sleep then repeat!

Getting to the end on Thursday was a relief as I knew I wouldn't have much time at home as I had to pack ready for the charity Welsh 3 peaks challenge. Unfortunately events conspired against me (M6 closure) and I didn't get back home until nearly 9pm, so everything was a massive rush to get all my gear ready.

Finishing work early on the Friday the team set off to travel up to Snowdonia with plenty of time, once again traffic and the football meant we didn't arrive at our hotel until 11.15pm, wouldn't have been so bad but we had to be up at 3.40am the next morning!

Fuelled by coffee and bacon and sausage but butties, we piled into the mini bus and made the 15 min journey to the starting point. As we pulled away the rain began and it got heavier and heavier, as we arrived and assembled in he car park the wind and rain was horrendous, within minutes we were freezing and our waterproofs we're testing their ability to the limit. Meeting our guides for the event the ominous words 'apocalyptic' and 'weather' were mentioned which didn't fill me with confidence that I would be enjoying this first peak.

As a team we kept hacking up the trail all the time with the wind constantly trying to buffet and pluck you off the side of Snowdon. The views were very limited and most of the focus was merely on keeping upright and carefully placing your feet, one in front of the other.

About 40 mins from the summit the lead guide called a halt and shouting over the howling wind informed us that as a team were only as strong as our weakest members and due to the increasing wind speeds that it was too dangerous to continue. With heavy hearts we turned and trudged down a different path to get ourselves off the mountain as soon as possible, all the time being assaulted with freezing, monsoon like rain and hail.

On the way back to the car park we came across three young guys walking in the opposite direction, one guy was dressed more for a night in the pub than for a mountain, with trainers and a heavy leather jacket. Our lead guide was also a member of the Snowdon mountain rescue and he pointed out the atrocious conditions but they ignored him and ploughed on, it was at this point that the guide pointed out that 7 people had already died on Snowdon this year.

Racing back I managed to be one of the first of my team to get back to the mini bus so after stripping off completely and throwing the sodden clothes into a bin bag it was time for a swift change of clothes, a cup of tea, some chocolate and then it was time to set off to the next peak, Cader Idris.

2 hours later and much drier and warmer than earlier on it was time to get out, don sodden boots and get moving. The weather initially was much kinder and we made good time up to a large lake, after a short break we then started up to the ridge that we would then traverse around the mountain to the peak.

It was on the ridge that the foul weather kicked in, hail, freezing rain and winds even stronger and faster than on Snowdon eventually meant a premature departure from the ridge, again very close to the summit, which in places is very narrow with sheer drops. Marching back down the paths we had followed up were now fast flowing streams, so much water was being dropped from the sky.

After a revitalising hot meal, some more chocolate and yet another change of clothes an increasingly weary team set off for the final peak, Pen Y Fan.

Arriving in the evening we were all determined that bare extreme conditions this was a peak we were going to reach. I set off with a couple of the team and went at a blistering pace, making the summit(898 metres)in just shy of 38 mins, finally we had done it! A swift descent was followed by congratulations and a short journey to our hotel for a few well deserved pints and a hot meal.

I finally got home at midday today where Shelly and the girls took me out for a delicious roast dinner and now my feet are up having soaked in a very hot bath!

Long time coming...

Wow, its been a whole month since my last post! On reading it again it kind of set the tone for the whole of May, professionally it was really hard going, a total slog with tonnes of stress and worry. This spilled over into everything, I didn't train for 4 weeks, my fitness spiralled down, coupled with crap nutrition (comfort eating)it just led to a general 'why bother?' attitude.

Being older I thought would make things this time round a bit easier, I foolishly thought, 'you've seen it, done it already' and that this time it would just be more of the same, however May and to be honest the whole testing cycle so far has been a massive wake up to me. It is so much harder to build the same levels of enthusiasm as last time, the demands on my time seem greater and I get feelings of resentment towards training or activities relating to the BB testing cycle. There has been greater levels of 'screw it' I'm not doing it after a long day whereas before I would have just gritted my teeth and got on with it.

I think I need to find a new level for my training, I'm getting concerned that my internal standards and my inability to meet those standards is screwing me up a bit,I think a chat with Master Olpin may be in order to make sense of everything and maybe get a reality check. Since that last post there has been some positive things, I completed a 10k road race yesterday, did my final training walk last weekend in Wales before the Welsh 3 peaks challenge in just under 2 weeks time and have made some progress in areas of my training that were lacking, just need to keep my head up and crack on.

Not good, not good

Firstly apologies for the tone of this blog post, its going to be pretty down, this is just a reflection of where my head is at today. This week has been one of the worst for a long time, luckily no one has been hurt, no one has died but in terms of how I am feeling personally its shit! Work has been particularly difficult this week as I am assisting in reshaping our entire sales operation and its making for a monumental headache and tonnes of work and stress that I had hoped had been put behind me a while ago. To add to that my health has taken a bit of a dip this week, my previous post showed that my run earlier this week was highlighting something wasn't right, i was hoping it was just a dip in energy levels but its been a bit more than that. I have felt so drained of energy this week that I must be fighting off some sort of bug as my stomach problems have also been playing up, this in itself with a hectic work schedule is usually enough to knock me off my stride, but its also been coupled with some difficulty sleeping so not a great combination, overworked, overtired etc etc. To top it off my car decided to have a serious engine problem which looks like it won't give me much change back from £1500, so forgive me if i take today to wallow in self pity and rant and rave like a madman (which I wont as I cant even work up the energy to do that)this is me at my lowest for a long time, not been training now for 2 weeks and the journey has most definitely been derailed for a moment. I cant even be arsed to moan anymore...

Running on empty

Well interesting day so far, I went out today for my usual lunchtime'ish 6 mile run and had a torrid time of it. I started off normally but by the time I had done the first mile and a half I could feel things weren't right. I felt tight and my breathing wasn't settling into its usual rhythm, thinking it was just taking me a bit longer to settle down I carried on, but as I got further on my legs were getting heavier and heavier. With this going on I decided to revise the distance and cut it short by making it an easier 4.5 mile route. However my energy was just depleting with every step so I ended up walking in sections just to give myself some respite. It wasn't that I was completely put of breath or anything like that, my body just wasn't giving me what I needed to keep a steady pace. It has been a long time since I have felt that sapped on a run and considering I have been running through torrential downpours and freezing winds ironic that on a mild ish day I conk out. Sitting here now thinking about what could have caused this I believe a combo of a pretty heavy, starchy diet the last few days with a lack of sleep (only been getting about 5-6 hours for the past week) has just drained me. I need to try and get a bit more fruit and veg into me and hopefully catch up on my sleep for the next few days as this weekend I have set myself a goal of an 8 mile, slow, run to see what a real distance starts to feel like. I just need to bear in mind what my body has told me today and do something about it.

Eeek

Just seen the two blog posts, did them via the ipad and the layout seems screwed up, sorry, doesnt make for easy reading!

Extract from my thesis 'The Hwa Rang:Fact and Fiction

The Philosophy of the Hwa Rang As with the Won Hwa the Hwa Rang had a core underlying set of principles, those of modesty, loyalty and filial piety, which closely reflect Confucian ideas, this shows the influence of the Han and Tang Chinese Dynasty on the philosophical progression of three kingdom and particularly Silla society. When looking to discover and understand the philosophical backbone of the Hwa Rang, study of Confucianism, Taoism and Buddhism will be required, a good starting place though concerns a a tale told in the Haedong Goseungjeon about two youths, Gwisan and Chwihang who travelled to see the monk Won Gwang. Their intention was to seek advice, spiritual guidance and teaching from the monk, when they approached Won Gwang they said “We are ignorant and without knowledge. Please give us a maxim which will serve to instruct us for the rest of our lives”_ Won Gwang, who had studied for a period in China, replied to this by composing ‘Five Commandments for Secular Life’ or Sae Sok o-Gye. These commandments have since been attributed as another guiding ethos for the Hwa Rang. The Five Commandments are; Loyalty to one’s lord, sagun ichung Love and respect your parents and teachers, sachin ihyo Trust among friends, gyo-u isin Never retreat in battle, imjeon mutwae Never take a life without a just cause, salsaeng yutaek An example of how members of the Hwa Rang fully embraced these commandments can be seen in this extract from one of the most famous stories eulogized by Hwarang literature, in the Samguk Sagi which chronicles the martyrdom of the son, Kwanjang_, of a Silla General, P'umil, who died in the wars of unification; His appearance was elegant, and he became a Hwa Rang as a youth and was on intimate terms with others. At the age of sixteen he was already accomplished in horseback riding and archery. When in the fifth year of Hsien-Ch’ing (660), the king sent the troops and, together with a T’ang General, attacked Paekche, he made Kwanjang and adjunct general. When the two armies met on the plain of Hwangsan, P’umil said to his son, “You are young, but you have spirit. Now is the time to render brilliant service and to rise to wealth and honour. You must show dauntless courage.” “I shall,” Kwanjang replied. Mounting his horse and couching his lance, he galloped into the enemy line and killed several of the foe. Outnumbered he was taken a prisoner and brought to the Paekche general, Kyebaek...Kyebaek said with a sigh “Silla has marvellous knights. Even a youth is like this-how much stronger must their soldiers be?” He then let Kwanjang return alive. Upon returning, Kwanjang remarked, “Earlier when I attacked the enemy’s position I could not behead the enemy general, nor capture their standard. This is my deepest regret. In my second attack I will be sure to succeed.” He scooped up water from a well and drank;he then rushed upon the enemy line and fought desperately. Kyebaek caught him alive, beheaded him, and sent back the head, tied to the saddle of the horse. P’umil took the head and, wiping blood with his sleeve, said, “He saved his honour, Now that he has died for the King’s cause, I have no regrets.” The three armies were moved by this and strengthened their resolve. Beating drums and shouting war cries, they charged the enemy line and utterly routed the Paekche forces. This extract probably illustrates most closely the commandments of sagun ichung and imjeon mutwae, and I feel points to potentially the wider influence that adherents to the Hwa Rang had on the greater community of Silla. Here the selfless sacrifice of a young Silla Knight inspired the wider army to defeat the enemy army on the field of battle and garnered the respect and admiration of his King who posthumously conferred the title of Kupch’an (Rank 9)_ onto Kwanjang and had him buried with full honours and ceremony.

Normal(ish) service resumed

Not done a blog post for over a week as Ive been having some connection issues and not been feeling 100% either but felt i needed to look back over the last week and comment on some stuff. Did the team walk on Sunday, was a good day out, the guys we are walking with are from United Welsh Housing Association and they were a friendly bunch, plenty of banter going on. The weather was as expected when you start getting up into the hills around Brecon, sunny on eminute then the clouds come in and its time to get soggy. The route itself wasnt anythng too strenous, one peak was particulary steep but a bit of zoning out meant I was at the top way before anyone else (cant escape that competative streak) The rest of the day was a nice hike and we even had some time to enjoy a well deserved pint at the end before having to drive back home, where my good lady put on a welcome roast dinner, not a bad way to spend a Sunday. The rest of the week was spent with work and finishing off stage 1 of the Black belt training, my thesis. When I did my 1st Dan I chose a subject that I knew a fair bit about, self defence and martial arts in the military, for this one I decided I would like to take a look at the story behind one of the ITF TaeKwon Do patterns, Hwa Rang. When it comes to things like projects, essays and writing a thesis I tend towards the hit it hard and keep going until its finished type approach. Its meant most spare time and lunch hours researching, coming up with an outline and then actually cracking on and writing the thing up. To me this thesis has been much more enjoyable than the last one as I approached this topic completly fresh and it was great finding out information that I hadnt heard of before and I have slowly built up a picture of who and what the Hwa Rang where, it most definately is not what I had imaged before I started the project. The running has carried on, even with the foul weather and it was when I was out yesterday that I got to thinking about what it means to push yourself and what achievement really means. This train of thought was kicked off as I was jogging to the top of a particulary long hill towards the end of my 6 mile route. As I was plodding on with the freezing rain lashing down and the wind howling, I noticed across the road a guy I see quite frequently around Wotton. This guy (i dont know his name) suffered some sort of injury or a stroke a couple of years ago and since then he goes out every day with his zimmer frame and does a long walk. He doesnt move very fast but he keeps on going and as I was getting towards the top of the hill and giving mysself a pat on the back, I saw him and it occured to me that I was kidding myself if I thought I was really 'proving' something or 'achieving' something because here was a guy who has limited mobility but does not allow that or a piddling thing like extreme weather stop him from achieving his goal, which is simply to walk. Seeing him was a great reality check and for the rest of the run I mulled over what it must mean to him to get out and do his walking. It certainly makes me think that anyone who says they dont have time to train or that they would rather put off doing something just because its abit wet most definately shoudl re-evaluate themeselves and for those looking for examples of black belt excellence and indomitable spirit, look to guys like him who do it every day, without fail and who set themselves a simple goal, do something positive with your time. Anyway I'm not in tip top form myself at the minute, there is some sort of bug doing the rounds and I think I may be fighting something off as I am definately feeling lethargic and very achey, so an early bath tonight methinks and a bit of a lie in before a full day of working and getting on with stage 2 of BB, the pattern breakdown. P.S. I have said I would put up a couple of extracts of the thesis and will endeavor to do it now on the next post.

Fair and Foul

Today I made the decision that I would change the running routine a bit and decided to do my run after work, I duly got back just after 5pm, slurped down a gel pack, got changed and limbered up. As is usual at this time of year it started raining, and didn't stop until a few hundred yards from home.

The run was very different, I felt slightly more relaxed, my muscles felt a bit looser and I did find initially that the bracing wind and rain seemed to help me keep a pretty good pace, however as the run progressed the rain got heavier, the wind got colder and stronger and by the halfway point it was starting to impact on the running a bit.

Changing the routine was important as sometimes over familiarity can breed complacency, but more importantly all the runs I've done seem to have been in great conditions so having a completely different set of environmentals and even a different time of day prevents the muscles from getting 'used' to what you are doing.

I got in very cold, soaking wet, tired but pleased that I had done it and also surprised that my time hadn't been adversely effected.

I of course had a shower but have just had to jump in the bath to thaw out my frozen feet and joints!

I'm going to take the phys easy for the rest of the week as I have a 14 mile team walk in Brecon in Wales on Sunday and that's also going to bad cold and wet!

Where has the week gone?

Well, it's Friday already and only a couple of days left before back to normality. Ive packed a lot in this week with Shelly and the kids. My birthday flew by, topped off my a massive burger from Bristol's top burger place, The Burger Joint and yesterday I went to see Battleship as I haven't seen a dumb alien invasion movie at the cinema for years, it was okay.

This week has been important as it has been a decompress session from everything and has enabled me to get into my six mile route for running, as for other training related stuff, I did a good open session where I did a solid hour of patterns practice. Really useful as it highlighted a few rusty areas and this will help me going forward.

Feeling nice and chilled, looking forward to splashing about in the water this afternoon at the Oasis centre in Swindon and tomorrow Shelly and I have the opportunity to go on a 10 mile walk around the local countryside. This walk is a test of my newish walking boots before my first team walk on the 22nd in Wales with the guys from work for the Welsh 3 Peaks charity 24hr challenge.

Now just enough time to finish the coffee off...

God bless Steve Jobs!

Just a very quick post, did my 6 miler today which ended with a very steep hill and I was starting to flag when what popped on my iPod? Only the training montage music from Rocky IV! Perfect sounds to get me up the hill, I even started increasing the pace to match he music. I ended up doing the run in 54 minutes, which I'm really happy with as I wasnt looking to add a faster pace as i wanted to gauge how I would manage a distance I haven't done in nearly 20 years.

Than you Apple, thank you Steve Jobs, for making these runs at least bearable.

Holiday break

It's all been quiet on he training front the last couple of days as I have been enjoying the long Easter weekend. I firmly believe in having down time and trying to switch off from everything. All I have been doing is enjoying time with the family, I have still been out for runs and I took the girls out for a nice county walk, so a bit of phys can still be fitted in.

This week will see some patterns practice and I will most likely go to the school tomorrow night as I am still off for the rest of the week due to my birthday on Weds. A big milestone is the first 6 mile run for probably 20 odd years tomorrow, it will be interesting to see how I handle it as anyone who reads these blogs knows I am now natural runner! With that in mind though I think I may be getting into the habit of running as I am actually looking forward to it tomorrow ( never thought I'd say that)

All in all I'm feeling positive about things, I know I have tonnes still to do but being aware of the things I still need to accomplish is a good sign and when you put yourself out there it makes it easier to knuckle down and get things done.

Famous at last

Really busy last few days, I am on holiday now for the next 10 days so there was the ussual rush to get everything covered off at work but I was also dtermined to have a poitive week when it cam to some fitness and continuing along with some of the tasks necessary for the 2nd dan testing cycle.

So far I feel pretty good about some of the progress I have made, the thesis I have to produce is well on the way to completion and I may put up some excerpts to give anyone who follows the blog (there arent many...yet) a taster.

i also made some great strides in getting my message about my approach to training for black belt and what it means to be a martial artist when yopu are over 40 by getting in touch with a fellow Martial Artist called Brett Kraiger. Brett is an instructor based in Wellington, New Zealand and he runs a website and newsletter service called Martial Arts over 40. Brett was kind enough to offer me the opportunity to write a short article about what its meant being a martial artist now that I am over 40 and also to promote this blog so that any other interested martial artists, or just those who may have an interest in starting a martial art, could take a look. The article on Brett's site is at the following http://martialartsover40.com/readers-stories/40-martial-artist-fitter-than-he-was-in-his-20s-stewart-davison/

On a final bum note, just as I was feeling good about all thi spositive development stuff, a large chunk of on eof my molars felt out whilst I was eating a peanut butter and jam sandwich so I am writing this with the after effects of a lot of anaesthetic in the jaw, cant win em all!

What a difference

Blimey, looked at the last post, bit gloomy wasn't it? This week seems totally different than last week, I feel energised, confident, chilled and am happy when I get to do stuff I enjoy, like training on Monday night! It was a good session as we concentrated on the basics linked to the pattern Yul Gok and then ran through the pattern itself, after that it was a focus on pattern breakdowns which was an excellent refresher as I need to get cracking on that part of the testing cycle.

Also fitted in a run so far, which is important as I need to up the distance next week, will soon be reaching the furthest distance I've ever done as a straight road run but I am conscious that I need to keep varying the cv work I do so I am also looking to include a bike ride once a week.

Its Wednesday and I'm still feeling good, roll on the weekend!

Crap, crap, crap, crap, the week was crap

Great title for a blog entry, really reflects how I have been feeling this week. Not in a bad stomach kind of way, but I have had a couple of days where its been particularly bad, but more in a just 'can't be arsed with anything' type of mood. I don't feel like this very often but when i do I am just grumpy, constantly bored, difficult to motivate, irritable, lazy etc etc Strange when I look at what i did last week, sorted out the garden, pressure hosed the slabs, cleaned the cars, cooked, went training, did two long bike rides and completed all the stuff I needed to do for week, even finished one task well in advice!

Even with all these 'achievements' my mood has just been one of 'meh, so what' or 'I'll do it when I want to' type attitude, nothing I have done has made me feel that positive, energised, motivated or anything really, its not that its negative its more that its just a blandness to everything.

As i've said I don't feel like this very often, maybe 4-5 times in a year but when I do Im just crap, crap, crap. I would rather I just lay in bed and didn't have to interact with anyone or do anything that didn't just take my fancy at the time. Thinking about it now, whilst still feeling a bit like I have done all week, I may have to put it down to a price I have to pay for the rest of the time when I am pretty much upbeat all of the time, positive, highly motivated, not that grumpy (this wife and kids may disagree here) and always looking on the bright side of life (cue Eric Idle!)

Thats enough for posting today, just wanted to get some thoughts out and hope that I wake up feeling better than I do at the moment as its Sunday night and I am finding it difficult working up any enthusiasm for tomorrow.

Onwards and upwards!

Cream crackered

What a day, took advantage of the longer evening and the lovely sunshine to do some gardening, 3 hrs later I'm cream crackered, aching all over and feeling like I've just done a serious workout, maybe I should be planning in a weekly gardening session for cross training!

Was a bit of a meh type of day today, apart from the gardening I didnt get much else done and I feel a bit 'flat' to be honest, not much else to talk about, counting down the days until a weeks holiday so maybe I'm a bit distracted and rather than thinking ahead to the week off I probably need to just refocus a bit and get some stuff completed this week.

Grading time

Just got back from the first quarter grading, very enjoyable afternoon it was as we had a really good showing from the school and it was great to see a lot of students on the floor. A little disappointing fom a personal point of view as my theory is very rusty( I was aware of it but still..) Putting my customary positive spin on things I look at it as a review is there to pick up the learning points you need to take forward into the next quarter, so theory needs a good focus then!

A hectic weekend all told but in a good way. My dad came over to stay for the weekend from Ireland and as the weather was so nice on Saturday the whole family duly loaded up in the car and off we went to Lyme Regis. The kids enjoyed the beach, my eldest may have found a flint spear or arrowhead that could be 10's of thousands of years old and I just enjoyed the warm spring sunshine, the sound of the waves and slowly walking along the beach with my wife.

The sun is shining still today and I'm feeling very mellow, the mood enhanced by the thought of a smashing Indian take away later on. Got some chilled tunes on the go and will probably sink into a nice hot bath later on to complete a thoroughly enjoyable weekend. Hopefully the weather will continue for a few more days and I can keep this blissful vibe going!

Spring Sunshine

Grabbing 5 minutes break at the National Housing Finance conference at Warwick Uni campus and basking along with all the other delegates in the brilliant spring sunshine. I'm in a suit when I would rather be running, biking or walking through some gorgeous countryside. A small problem though, am not sure if any running will be on the cards for a bit as I have spannered my foot. I think I've bruised a tendon or ligament on my right foot as its very painful just putting weight on it. Very annoyed as this is most likely self inflicted when I went for the run on Monday, I was lured out once again by the good weather when I should have rested it. I'm going to leave it until the weekend and then I may go for a bike ride which obviously has less impact than a road run.

I need to be careful of getting injuries through running as this can be a slippery slope for me to start slacking off and as I have just started to enjoy a run I don't want to take a step back. Time for me to get back to the conference, wish I could sit out here all day.

Have I overdone it?

Yesterday was a nice relaxing day as it was Mothers Day and my kids were trying to be on their best behaviour. I treated us all to a nice Sunday lunch, and we all indulged in a wicked Chocolate Fudge cake that the girls had made for the occasion. The only problem after such an indulgent lunch was the fact that I felt like I needed an afternoon snooze, however luckily for me a combination of a sunny afternoon and the latest Twilight movie that all the girls in the house wanted to watch meant that I got my walking boots out and cracked on with a very quick 4.5 mile cross country walk.

Walking has always been one of my favourite activities as It is great for clearing your thoughts or chewing over a thorny issue, I did blast through it rather quickly and soon found myself back at home.

Today was again such a gorgeous day, with brilliant sunshine, a crisp fost and clear blue skies that I just had to get myself out for a run. As before pacing myself is still proving tricky and I was setting a very fast pace until I got on the home stretch where I was really feeling it from a CV perspective but of greater concern was a strain I was feeling on the inside of my right ankle. I think that after yesterday's walk I shouldn't have done the run, I am going to have to keep an eye on it over the next few days and see how it fairs. Perhaps switching a run to a bike IDE may have to be in order if it still feels tender.

Got to training tonight as well which was really good, this weekend sees the quarterly grading cycle so we had all the ducts on the floor, unfortunately the rust was most definitely encrusted on Chon Ji as it took two run throughs for it all to click back into place, which is rather embarassing for a BB and highlights that it has to be practice, practice, practice.

Pretty Vacant

This will be a pretty short post I imagine as the last couple of days have just gone by in a drug induced blur. I went into hospital on Thursday and at the point that they shot me with the anaesthetic the rest of the week kind of sailed by with me just occasionally focussing enough to drool over my new iPad that came yesterday. I did manageto to through very one of my patterns from Chon Ji all the way up to Gae Baek, things were starting to get vague again by that time so I caught up with the tonnes of TV I had stored on the Sky + box.

This wasn't how I imagined yesterday going, I have managed to source a couple of good books on Korean history and myths but to be honest, yesterday, I tried to star reading but couldn't hold my attention on the words for more than a minute or two so gave it up.

I had planned to go for a run today but still feel a bit off and my wife suggested that I just take another day, so I will today. The rest of today will be spent with the kids and tonight, as it's St Paddys day will be spent listening to a bit of diddley dee music in the pub with a couple of cold Guinesses, bliss!

Not looking forward to tomorrow

Woke up early this morning, I have a bit on my mind as tomorrow i am in hospital for a procedure I'm not looking forward to. I was hoping yesterday to get to the open session yesterday at the school but a long meeting at work meant I didnt get home until past 8pm, I did spend 15 mins going through Gae Bek again but I just got very frustrated as I couldnt get the flow of the pattern and ended up sprawled on the sofa instead.

I do have some cardio planned for today but I can feel a lethargy coming on me which is more to do with whats happening for the rest of the week than any actual physical tiredness. I'm going to have to get cracking first thing to stop that feeling taking hold.

Going back to the struggle I'm having with Gae Bek I am going to take a look at a websitre I have used in the past that has good videos showing the forms and hopefully that will just give me that nudge I need to crack it.

On a general level I'm still not finding that 'spark' when it comes to approaching the testing cycle, rather than the massive kick off I did for 1st Dan which seemed to last the whole 6 months, I would characterise this testing cycle more as me sat on a rusty bicycle at the bottom of a very long and steep hill. It's not that I havent started stuff, I've made good progress already on my thesis, my running is getting into a groove, its just that there is still a lot to do and I know how quick 6 months can be.

Mmm, I'm just going to put this general feeling of 'meh'down to midweek moodiness, with any luck after a good physical session first thing I'll be feeling a lot more positive about stuff. I can get cracking with plenty of work stuff and then just get the next couple of days over and done with.

Monday, Monday

Woke up this morning with a real thick head, I didnt get much sleep last night, don't know why, nothing particulary on my mind but I just couldnt settle last night.

I decided to fire up the laptop and get cracking with work about 7am, sometimes this is the way i like to work, just get on with things. I ended up working through until just before lunchtime and again the sun had come out and it was gorgeous, so not to waste the opportunity I ended up going out for a run, which really helped to change my focus away from work for 40 mins and after a quick sandwich I was able to get on with work and finish of what I needed to achieve.

I was also able to make some good progress on little jobs I had been putting off, made a good dent in my thesis and even got 30 mins to do some 2nd Dan pattern practice. On top of this I even managed to do a full session at the school tonight! So all in all this was a very fruitful and productive Monday, partly I think due to the fact i am conscious that Thursday and Friday will be out due to hospital, I'll just have to make the most of Wednesday.

Finding the positives

I've been quite conscious that the posts this week seem to be all about problems, for those who know me I'm a pretty optimistic guy who usually finds positives in everything, so it has been interesting to look back and compare them with todays post.

How can you be feeling down at the weekend! No work, no firm plans so it was nice to get up grab a coffee and a bowl of cereal and head back to bed. Michelle, my wife was off to a printing course today so I was designated adult to the kids. I decided to set a stellar example by staying in bed and firing up the inlayer. I ended up watching a great programme that followed David Walliams, the comedian, in his Sport Relief Thames swim.

It was a really inspirational programme showing a guy who isn't an athlete pushing himself to achieve something the no one else had attempted. He himself talked about the mental aspect of the swim, the focus needed to push past the times when the body was saying no. After the programme I was always going to go for a run but I have to say I felt really energised as I started out and realised I was putting in a good time, with plenty of effort,so much so that I found myself heading back in towards home and realised that I may have pushed a bit too hard. The breathing was tough, I was noticing the little aches and pains in my muscles and I started to get a stitch.

This is when the mental effort really kicks in, it's these times when things start to get ucomfortable that it becomes all too easy to listen to the little voice that says "take a break, walk for a bit, it doesn't matter" it's down to will and a bit of mental toughness to get past that voice to counter it with "do it, keep running, it's not far, just past this next road sign" all these little tricks help you get past the uncomfortable moments and enable you to achieve what you set out. I ended up finishing the run, in glorious sunshine, very tired but pleased that I had completed it and not compromised on what I set out to do. I even shaved another minute off the time which is good but not something I want to do each time I do the route!

So looking back there may have been some problems, especially yesterday which I have tried to blank out as it was a bust across the board, but I'm still doing it, still sticking at it and as long as I keep that attitude I should be okay.

Tomorrow is rugby day, saying that though I am on the sofa having just watched the Wales game and about to watch the Ireland game but let's not split hairs! I will need to crack on with some prep and patterns practice tomorrow morning, freeing me up for an afternoon shouting at the TV in the pub whilst consuming a moderate amount on Guiness, looking forward to it and what a great way to wind down the weekend.

Pain

Went training tonight, even though my stomach was feeling as if it was gripped by a fist and was being twisted by a particulary evil bastard. I've had stomach and digestive problems for a year now and it has had a real negative impact on my quality of life over that period. It comes and goes throughout the week, some days it just feels like I have a frog in my throat, on bad days like today, I feel sick, lethargic and generally like the last thing I want to do is visit the school to put some physical and mental effort in.

I'm back home now, I only did the first session of what should have been nearly an hour and a half of training, it was a real focus session tonight on some basic techniques,the effort required though to get them spot on, with the right attention to detail but still with power and commitment really took it out of me.

It's nights like this where I feel the old spark and wish I could go that bit further but the pain gets to you, wears you down, makes you that little bit of a quitter. Perhaps I could have stayed a bit longer, but all I could think about was coming home, sitting down and completely relaxing. To the Stewart of 2 years ago that would have been unacceptable, 2 years ago I would have blitzed through the class, come home, carried out some stretches and some conditioning reps, planned out the next days activities against my training plan, that Stewart would look at me and say "quitter, you just don't want it enough!" But I'm not that person, I've had to modify what I can achieve to fit around the days where I do feel like I want to throw up. The good days are awesome, I have used physical activity to help tune out the discomfort when it's not so acute, running helps to focus on something else apart from how I'm feeling physically.

Pain is something lots of people live with every day, mine is more annoying discomfort, but it's been enough that it has left a mark on me, some days I look and feel older than I am, some days there is no drive, no will to achieve anything, luckily this isn't every day. Next week I go to the hospital for another exploratory procedure, hopefully this will move me one step closer to getting back to a more normal state.

Tomorrow I hope is one of the good days.

Mid week madness

Very mixed day yesterday really,it all started off pretty normally and then it all kicked off before lunch which meant I had to change my plans for the day and pushed my stress levels through the roof. It got a bit crazy so I thought I needed to de stress a bit and decided to bite the bullet and replace my knacked 5 year old trainers. I ended up taking a trip to Easy Runners in Bristol and spent my lunch hour going through a running gait analysis and then got myself a brand new pair of running shoes.

The rest of the day was spent rushing about doing work related stuff and generally raising my blood pressure and getting ratty with everyone, it wasn't until I had met my youngest daughters teacher at her parents evening that I actually felt calm and relaxed again. I felt so good that I ended up buying a box of chocolates, a bottle of fizz and ended up having a decadent evening in a hot bath with the wife!

Mid week drinking is not something that i do very often, if at all and waking up this morning reminds me why! It's the sore head and fuzzy thinking that I am going to blame for the fact I bought a new iPad, I have had my iPad 1 since it came out in 2010 and I always said to myself that when a retina version came out I would replace it, this morning the hand slipped and whoops, new iPad on order!

Just have to pay for it all now...

Therapeutic running

It was really nice waking up this morning without the need to be anywhere like North London at a ridiculously early time. I was able to get a coffee on, fire up the laptop and catch up with things at work that sometimes get shifted to the bottom of the pile when you have to rush about. It wasn't long though until the email in tray was filling up, the phone was ringing and my well planned out day degenerated into sorting out lots of little issues. I got to lunchtime and sat on the sofa was revelling in the sunshine streaming through the lounge windows, looking up at the crisp, clear blue sky I decided to pause what I was working on, quickly threw on some running gear and headed out into the wilds of Wotton.

One of the goals I have set myself as part of his 2nd Dan testing cycle is to run the Bristol Half Marathon in September. Now I dislike running, you could say I hate it, even loathe it, but today getting into a rhythm, feeling the road under my feet really helped me to switch off from what had been going on that morning. The iPod was on random but the songs that kept coming up fitted the location, the mood, the weather and I found myself actually enjoying it.

I got back in, having done a pretty good time and felt able to pick up where I had left off and ended up achieving alot for the rest of the afternoon.

Still doesn't mean I've changed my mind about running though, well maybe a little bit(let's see what I put when it's chucking it down with rain!)

The road goes ever on and on....

Nearly 2 years since I last blogged about starting the journey to becoming a black belt and it feels strange coming back in and starting again. Looking back on all the posts I made during that period it brings it all back, the stress, the pressure I put on my self, the feeling of exhilaration, nervousness and excitement when I finally graded and was awarded my black belt. But I also noticed the pause afterwards, a feeling of what next, the sudden feeling that I imagine everyone feels when they have been focused on something important, attained it and then cast about for the next challenge.

The two years after my black belt have felt a bit like that, I have seen itchy feet syndrome at work where I feel that I need to do something else, prove myself again at a higher level and live with a feeling of frustration whe things haven't progressed as I wanted them to. This has also led to a constant feeling of disruption, the inability to settle as I strive to find a groove to get back into. This inability to settle has also applied to my martial arts training, as I have worked hard to try and carve a new future professionaly, the time and commitment I have been able to give my martial arts training has suffered greatly.

I recall with great pride and happiness the feeling of wanting and needing to train all the time, the flush of excitement when I had nailed a certain pattern, or grasped a new concept at the school. This was matched by being surrounded by a great peer group who matched my levels of enthusiasm and we all fed off each others positivity. But where am I today, why have I kicked off the blog again?

last week I applied for my 2nd Dan in Ilyo Mu Do Kwan, and instead of feeling exhilarated I feel nervous, apprehensive, I'm asking questions of myself, can I commit, am I worthy of it, am I up to it and even Do I want it?

Things have changed, I'm different to who I was two years ago, I'm older, having turned 40 last year, I have been going through a prolonged period of I'll health which is just debilitating enough to affect my training and is enough to kick off bouts of feeling low and depressed.

So why do it? Why put myself through another 6 months of scrutiny, why challenge myself when I could just tick along, not test myself, just 'cruise'? Partly its because I have two young daughters and hey need to see an example of someone who doesn't just take the easy path, they need to see that to get something worthwhile in life you have to work hard, sacrifice and yes feel uncomfortable sometimes. But also it's very much a part of who I am, what makes me,me. Since starting marital arts training over 5 years ago I have become fitter, stronger, rediscovered a love for physicality, taken part in activities that have tested me, scared me and made me realise that life has to be lived to get the positive benefits, rather than just succumb to a so called 'simple' life.

This first post was always going to be a bit of a stream of consciousness, it's all the things that have been rattling around in my head for months since I started thinking of going for my 2nd Dan, this time it's more to prove to myself that I want to continue my journey though life than proving I have what it takes to make it.

This is me, Stewart Davison, with all the flaws, faults, imperfections, annoying habits, driven intensity, quick temper, even quicker laughter and the strong, stubborn will to begin the next chapter, to take the next turn in the road on my journey to being a black belt. Let's see what happens in the next 6 months, I hope you will hitch a ride with me.