Tuesday 16 February 2010

Feeling weird

I've started to notice that as I get closer to the black belt grading I am finding that I don't want to train, why is that? What's going on? I'm starting to get that rabbit in the headlight sensation that time is rushing on and I feel like I know next to nothing. It was only exacerbated last night when we were doing basics using Korean terminology, my mind went blank and all the things I thought I knew didn't make sense. Putting a positive spin on things it does re-inforce one of the key points I made at the start of this blog that the black belt isn't the end of the journey merely a milestone along the longer journey of martial arts. To be honest its remembering that I am in this for the long term that helps me to put it into perspective. However I am getting worried that my current mental state may lead to a more laissez faire attitude to my training and revision. There is a hell of a lot going on at the moment and worringly it all seems to be coming to a head around the middle of March.

Luckily this blog at least allows me to get it out in the open rather than keeping it all bottled up and adding to my already high stress levels, which rubs off on the family and isn't good for them or me. Do I have what it takes to be a black belt, I think so but have I done enough to earn one at the next grading, only my instructor will know that. I have mastery over my own destiny and I still have the time and capability to keep training and revising.

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