What a week, the only real positive to come out of the week has been my dogged refusal to give up on the cardio sessions this week. I have just been totally unfocussed this week and everything has gone to pot. I have retreated to my comfort blanket of computer games which is really anti social and usually means my sleep patterns are screwed up.
Just a general feeling of listlessness and prevarication about the smallest things, might just be a mid training blip but makes it really difficult to pull out of a tailspin when you haven't got a brilliant support network. Don't get me wrong Michelle is great but home is home and I can't keep relying on Rich all the time as he needs to spread himself out across all the students. Again I re-iterate, THIS IS WHY I AM DOING THIS BLOG. We all get together (if we are lucky) twice a week for over an hour of training, to the students who just want to turn up and then leave it at the threshold of the Dojang I say fine, we all train for different reasons, but this is a plea to the other students who have a desire to go beyond merely attaining a belt or rank and who want to have a lifetime journey with the martial arts. To those students I say ANY CHANCE OF SOME SUPPORT?
I am not looking for pats on the back etc just a level of interest and encouragement/ enthusiasm for the hard work Shirley and I are putting in. This blog is as much for you as it is for me, I have been very disappointed by the complete radio silence on the Academy forum this week and again, especially when I have not been able to attend class, just makes me feel isolated like this, and when you get into a spiral of cant be bothered it is very difficult to pull yourself out, this is wher eyour support network steps in.
I am genuinely interested in how other students find their training, what they like, dislike, what concerns they have and what makes them tick. As Rich bangs on about constantly when you are surrounded by positive people you all feed off each other and achieve much more. The forum should really be your first port of call if you are unsure about anything connected with your training as it has a record of the past 5+ years of student questions and discussions. 2 years ago a core group of about 6-7 students embarked on a personal challenge and for around 6-9 months the energy on the forum and in class was unbelievable, this led me to get a massive success personally and really made me want to carry on with my training in the years to come. I wanted to be around people like that and to get that buzz again.
Sorry if this post offends anyone, that was not my intention, it was merely to remind everyone that we don't study a glorified aerobics routine, we are martial artists and therefore have decided to rise above the mediocre and really achieve something worthwhile in our lives. Please get involved with the forum at the very least, it will take a couple of minutes to post a question or reply to an active topic, give it a go, you may be surprised how addictive it can be.
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Unfortunately Stu I think the reality of it is most other people just don't care. They're only at best interested in their own training and for the other 165 hours a week they aren't even thinking about it in any capacity. That's a real shame but what can we do about it?
ReplyDeleteI can tell you from *years* of frustration how I've tried over and over again to encourage people to get more involved, to build more team spirit etc. and to be honest if I relied on them doing so for my own motivation I'd have given up years ago. Thankfully however, once in a while I get students such as yourself that are actually motivated enough to be a bit pro-active and that makes it all worth while.
For example, that forum challenge only came about because I'd done exactly the same thing myself personally before hand and found it to be a huge benefit so I wanted to share it with others. I felt that if the other members could get even a small taste of the benefits I'd found then it would be awesome to share in that with a group of like-minded peers.
How many times have I mentioned the forum in class/newsletters/emails etc? I've lost count and yet it's just about impossible to get anyone to get involved with anything outside their bare minimum training. They don't even seem to realise just how much more they'd enjoy things if they took a more active role and got more involved outside of class time. Only a couple of weeks back I asked the whole adult class to just take a couple of minutes to go on the forum and take part in that little 24 hour challenge. Only two people from the whole school bothered. I rest my case!
Way back in March there were at least half a dozen people who all said they were 'definitely' coming to the BNMA weekend this year. How many of them actually booked?
None.
(cont, had to split the reply as it was over 4k)
ReplyDeleteAnother thing I mention a lot is connection, and one aspect of that is taking a real active interest in what you do. If you don't, your subconscious won't place any importance on it and you'll never make any real progress. You know that 'super-conscious' learning I've mentioned in class? How would you expect that to work for you if there's no sense of importance attached to your training?
I really don't know what it is with people these days, but it's most definitely not at all like it was back when I first started in the martial arts. Back then, to get anywhere you had to be prepared to work your arse off, and yes, it was bloody hard but we just dug deep and got on with it. These days we live in such a consumer-oriented society that people just want something for nothing all the time, they seem to think that "I've paid my money, it's up to me how hard I train" (or don't). they expect to make progress just because they've paid for a membership?
Classic point in case recently with one student who expected advanced promotion at a grading even though their attendance didn't even meet the basic expectation just to be *allowed* to grade let alone anything like the demonstrable *exceptional* effort and attendance that would justify being considered for a higher promotion. Their sole justification seemed to be that they were frustrated at having missed several gradings and others were moving forward so they felt that having missed those gradings they somehow deserved the belt? i.e. you deserve to be rewarded and promoted for NOT DOING THE MARTIAL ARTS! Seriously, what the f**k is that all about?
So many people pay lip service to their training, i.e. they *say* how much they enjoy it and *tell* us how keen they are but frankly for the most part that's just the bulls**t they're telling themselves. Who are they kidding? If you're that keen, don't tell us, SHOW US WITH YOUR ACTIONS not words.
So, what's the solution? I really don't know. All I can suggest is that you continue to hold yourself to a higher standard than others do and take consolation from the fact you are doing so. Don't settle for mediocrity because you'll never be happy with yourself if you do that.
Oh, and don't ever feel that you can't turn to me, because honestly Stu, I live for those rare moments when I get someone who actually cares enough to ask questions and actually wants to know the answer so they can improve on some aspect of what they are doing. If it's important to you, it's important to me - which is why I'm available 24/7 for anything connected with your training.
Of course, the other minor problem is that moaning about a lack of support on here or on the forum won't help one bit if nobody else is reading this or visiting the forum will it!
ReplyDeleteI hear you loud and clear, this blog and the forum is a good forum for venting and at least it gets it off my chest.
ReplyDeleteJust a shame we can't seem to get that spirit we had a couple of years ago as that was awesome and the results were there for everyone to see. When (not If) I achieve my goals it might be worthwhile doing something graphic to illustrate it, like the time i brought 2 stone in weight into the class.
Hi Stu - Just to let you know that the main reason for my silence is that I'm stuck in just as bad as or worse a rut than you. I've been so bogged down with work I can barely get any dissertation work done. At least tonight I got a short Java program written as part of the dissertation but it took more than the 2 hours I'd planned and of course that then flows into the ongoing spiral of everything getting later and later.
ReplyDeleteMy supervisor asked me to scale down the dissertation but I can't see anything to leave out! I don't even have my literature review or methodology worked out properly yet and I'm supposed to submit in January .... er ....
I hear what you & Richard are saying about nobody caring but I can assure you that I do care; it's just that whenever I get on the forum, I can be sure I'll be spending at least an hour on it and that's another hour lost to dissertation.
I know I'll at some point be in the same boat as you with respect to Black Belt preparation and for that reason what you're going through is important to me. It's just that the timing of everything so truly sucks at the moment.
Something more positive ....
ReplyDeleteYou have often said that you feel terrible when you get nothing done for a day/week/etc. I think you may have the same "talent" as I do, in terms of something called the "Strengthfinder Profile". Basically, this profile seeks to determine which "talents" we have - a talent being something that we find easy and natural to do and therefore is part of our subconscious way of doing things. You can do a test to work out your profile but mine is as follows: My top 5 talents are:
Learner
Achiever
Responsibility
Focus
Strategic
I can go through them in detail with you some time (or you can borrow my book) but the Achiever one is interesting. Here's a small quote:
"'Achiever' describes a constant need for achievement. You feel as if every day starts at zero. By the end of the day you must achieve something tangible in order to feel good about yourself. And by 'every day' you mean every single day - workdays, weekends, vacations. No matter how much you may feel you deserve a day of rest, if the day passes without some form of achievement, no matter how small, you will feel dissatisfied."
Hopefully, knowing this might help you understand your emotional response to not getting things done.
Thanks for taking the time to respond. The post was a venting of frustration more than anyting but it has provoked some reactions, which was its main purpos. At a conscious level I completely understand the balance I currently have to juggle. The frustration sets in when my training has to suffer because of the knowledge that my time is finite, coupled with at heart being a lazy git. If things start to slide I find it really diffiuclt to get back on track and each time it happens the effort is greater to get back to where I want to be. Its part of who I am and I am happy with me, doesn't stop a good vent every now and again though :)
ReplyDelete